Archive | April, 2011

A Drinking Story

12 Apr

A while back I got into fight after I had been drinking. It shook me up pretty badly because it had some strong repercussions. I stopped drinking for a year and took a real close look at my actions and choices relating to drinking.

I wasn’t an alcoholic, and I didn’t feel I needed to quit drinking altogether. Rather I was a high-risk drinker. When I drank it was with the intent to get drunk, binged in a short amount of time, and would do it in social situations so I could “let go”. It became clear to me that I was doing this because most of the time I was uncomfortable in social situations and drinking made me more likable, less uptight, and gave me an excuse the next day if I made an ass of myself. It was not that hard to change my drinking habits after seeing that this was not the person I wanted to be.

There is still one thing that bothers me.  Friends would encourage drinking, and thought it was funny when I did, even to really dangerous levels. We weren’t particularly young either, I didn’t start drinking until about 22 or 23, and at the time I would hang around people who were in their 30’s.  I particularly remember one night when a good friend said to me after singing a karaoke song “wow, you must not have drank yet, you sound a lot better when you drink.” I always took that to heart because I loved to sing but was so self-conscious about it. Whenever I did karaoke I felt uncomfortable if I wasn’t drinking because I thought I sucked.

Two things that I took out looking at this: learn to be comfortable in social situations without drinking or just don’t go to things you don’t feel uncomfortable at, and never tell a friend they are more fun after drinking. I remember this guy sitting next to me in school at Manoa Gardens and his friend came by and said “wow, it’s like 7pm and you’re not drunk, what’s up with that?” The guy explained to his friend that he had to study, and the friend just said “that’s so unlike you.” Instead of saying “that’s cool, good for you” that friend chose to make the person feel even more inadequate. Good job.

It’s scary how the smallest things can have an impact on our lives.